Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
