Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
