is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
