We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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