when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
