ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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