she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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