fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i would punch a child for taco bell
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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