Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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