Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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