so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
