He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
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