I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
