A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
