i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
