my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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