White coat. Heels.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize
