I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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