Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
