Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
