I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
