went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
