Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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