come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize