Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
