We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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