No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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