Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
