I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
