Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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