i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
