Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
