we have officially lost it.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
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If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
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WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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