Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
