This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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