i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
