My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Operation Purity has been aborted
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
