Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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