Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize