Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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