last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
