we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Randomize
