Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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