i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
