i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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