You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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