it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
