I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
