thus making me awesome and them whores
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
