Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
