yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
