when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
this boner is exhausting
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
