Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize