He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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