how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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